by Amy Hunter
During the last two weeks, three different people I admire called me out for hiding and playing safe. Each, in their unique and painfully accurate way shared that I needed to own and embody my expertise. How is it that my hiding is so transparent to others and not to me? How is it possible that I lack this much insight and awareness into my own insecurity while it is obvious to those around me? If I was getting this message a few years ago, even six months ago I would have been more accepting, patient and kind to myself. I thought I had moved past this.
by Anne Day
Recently I was asked to speak at a MoMonday where you basically talk for ten minutes, almost improv – no notes, just you and the mike. I got myself into quite a knot over this, working myself up into a tight ball of nervous energy.
But apart from close friends who knew about my nervousness, few would know. You see I have a mask I wear to disguise how I feel inside. I wear it quite often actually, not just around public speaking, but whenever I feel uncomfortable, inadequate or out of place.
And you know what… I am not alone. As Amy and I interview women for our book, more and more we are learning that many of us wear a mask at one time or another. From the outside, we look cool, calm and collected, conveying nothing of the turmoil and fear we feel deep inside.
by Amy Hunter
Taking chances, making change are exciting and powerful moments. But change is often very uncomfortable, sometimes downright scary. In listening to women’s inspirational stories of change, risk, and determination to create a better life, I realized that the following four steps helped them stay on course.
Define and believe in your purpose
We all experience mental and physical push back and resistance to change, it’s part of the package. You know, that feeling of nausea, the shrinking, heavy shoulders when we are overwhelmed, afraid we are in over our heads. To move through this and shift into action, it is essential to get clear on your purpose.
by Anne Day
When we first embarked on this project our goal was to create a new way of thinking, so women changed how they felt about themselves. Our focus was on women, particularly women business owners.
Of course, as we progressed, we quickly realized that it was a tad more complex. As women we don’t narrow our self-doubts into one easy compartment like work, but it can spread and have a ripple effect on other aspects of our lives like parenting and being the “good wife.”
by Amy Hunter
There is no one better than me to write this book. That’s not to say that I can write, in fact, I have no idea if I can. It’s that I am well suited, if not destined, to write this particular book because I am a living, breathing example of how feelings and thoughts of not good enough can hold us back. Maybe you too know these thoughts, the chattering voice in brackets and italics that plays in your head? (Way to go, you’re now the expert on not good enough, sigh).
Working with Anne Day on this book is a thrill. Anne is not only an author; she is also a mentor (published, successful and much better than me) and our “decide to write a book “ lunch (see her Huffington Post: Synchronicity) with her was a privilege. I viewed our lunch together as an opportunity to hear more about what made this dynamic woman tick, how she juggled all her activities in supporting entrepreneurial women.
by Anne Day
When you hear the word “enough” what comes to mind? That you’ve had it, you’re done, finished, and ready to quit, or is it that you are not enough, you don’t measure up, basically, you are not good enough.
As Amy Hunter and I embark on this exploration and research for our book, with its working title of “Enough,” it has already been interesting to check out the reaction to our topic.
As we talk about the premise of the book, we’ve found that women just nod their heads and say “yes” while men look at us with a puzzled look on their faces. Perhaps because while men do face the same fear of failure, the vocabulary and how they express it, is different, and that is assuming they even verbalize it at all. Women, on the other hand, are more comfortable talking about their feelings.
What we have learned so far is that feeling “not good enough” is real. Very real. Some women are more than aware of this and just asking brings it all bubbling to the surface, while for others, it is perhaps a buried emotion that they prefer not to dig up and expose.
by Anne Day (originally published in Huffington Post)
Jung describes synchronicity as “a meaningful coincidence of two or more events, where something other than probability of chance is involved.”
In his book Synchronicity: The Inner Path of Leadership, author Joseph Jaworski,
describes how chance meetings can be life changing, and shares this key insight from his own leadership journey — “when we are in this state of being where we are open to life and all its possibilities, willing to take the next step as it is presented to us, then we meet the most remarkable people who are important contributors to our life.”
And that is what I have found. When I am on the right path, I meet the people I am meant to meet and suddenly my journey has more meaning and depth. But you have to be open to such chance opportunities. You have to be open. Period.