At the edge – Cross at own risk

by Amy Hunter

At the edge

During the last two weeks, three different people I admire called me out for hiding and playing safe.  Each, in their unique and painfully accurate way shared that I needed to own and embody my expertise.  How is it that my hiding is so transparent to others and not to me?  How is it possible that I lack this much insight and awareness into my own insecurity while it is obvious to those around me?  If I was getting this message a few years ago, even six months ago I would have been more accepting, patient and kind to myself.  I thought I had moved past this.It seems that before me lies a big chasm a gap.  For the last few months, I have been hearing the phrase “finding your edge” and trying to figure out what this really meant for me.  It started to make sense in yoga, my edge shows up in tree poise with wobbly balance or more obviously so in plank when my abs scream “you’re at your edge honey”.  However, with my work I have been struggling to really understand and embody what this means.

Well this week I had an “aha” moment, twice actually.  The prelude came two weeks ago when a coaching colleague let me know that while writing a book on being good enough is awesome, my showing up as enough would have an even bigger impact in my career.  Wow, and I had only just met this guy, how did he know?

Fast forward to this week, long time friend and coaching colleague shared (no, directed) this quote with me  “What you do and say depends on how you feel about what you know”.  Wow, ok message is sinking in, becoming clear to me, or at least the message I am sending to others is clear, yikes!

Move on to the next kick in the backside when I spoke with a mentor coach with whom I’ve never had a one- to- one conversation before.  Midway through she commented that I need to speak in the present tense about what I do, that it’s very important to own my expertise in what I know and do.

So, the edge, my edge, has now become crystal-clear to me.  My body and mind are now very aware that there is a gap (read canyon), I need to cross, the place between what I know, what I will do with what I know and owning it.  This means moving into action and doing, in conversation and in practice.  I hesitate, afraid that if I leap across I might miss and fail or worse be found not enough.  Hesitation is holding me hostage on the edge and keeping me from showing up whole heartedly, all in.

So today I am leaning over, taking a peak and… I won’t know what’s next till I step past my edge.  Keep you posted.

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2 thoughts on “At the edge – Cross at own risk

  1. How lucky you are that those around you are not “hiding”and feel safe enough to let you know how you can change to grow, Amy. It is only by really hearing what others are saying to us that we can do that. Warm wishes going forward.

    • Thank you and yes I agree that often I can’t “see” myself, my beliefs or story and how it holds me back. I am grateful to the mentors and friends in my life who will share back to me what they are observing, often not what I see at all. This opens up the way for me to see myself, my situation with new eyes-usually I’m totally surprised by how blind I’ve been. Humbling and so rewarding at the same time.
      The trick is to surround yourself with people who will be honest and tender with you and then ask.
      Best,
      Amy