Happiness. Much is written about finding happiness, there is even The Happiness Project, but I wonder if this constantly striving for happiness means that we have unrealistic expectations about how our lives will be, or not.
Are we putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves to fit the bill, and when we don’t, does this leave us feeling not good enough?
We’ve heard many times that failure is good for us; we’re encouraged to fail fast, fail often. Failure can build resiliency, spark innovation, and can teach us a valuable lesson. But it’s hard. And being afraid of failure can really hold us back because when we’re afraid to fail, we get trapped into playing safe.
I’ve had my share of failures, both personal and professional, learning lessons that I could not have gained
I am a relative newcomer to social media, especially Facebook. So when people talked about poking, tagging and friending, I had no idea what they were talking about.
Maybe it was my British background, but I saw no merit in revealing my innermost thoughts on the Internet, especially when I wasn’t even sharing with close friends and family. After all you never knew who was reading it.
The other week Amy and I got together to look at the stories we’d collected for our book Enough. Much of our time has been spent hearing stories of how women are not feeling good enough and how this has negatively impacted their lives, as well as a few stories sprinkled with resilience. But regardless, still heavy stuff.
Suddenly we were doubled up in laughter as I shared a funny story about my early courting days with my husband. Those giggles and smiles, dramatically changed the tone of our meeting. Instead of feeling overwhelmed at the tasks ahead, we became more positive and connected to one another.
What is it about summer that makes it feel like there is more time in each day, and that time actually slows down? Whether we’re working or lounging by the water, we seem to move slower, pause more, disconnect with the hurried pace of our daily life.
Strangely, I am in the throws of a huge project and continue to have the same, if not more, responsibilities as I did during the year. And yet, I am calm, relaxed and very productive. So what it is about the summer? Is it simply the shift in weather or is there more to it? And can we hang on to this perception of time all year long?
Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next or what you want to be when you grow up? You’re not alone but as we interview and talk to women about their self-doubt, one word keeps resonating with me.
Self-awareness is key to moving your life forward, both personally and professionally. How much time do you spend reflecting on your skills, strengths, areas of weakness and the values that you hold dear? Likely not much time, because you are too busy living your life, but maybe it would be time well spent.
Every year at this time I haul out the spring/summer clothes that have been tucked away all winter. Last week, I had an event to attend and thought I’d pick out a pair spring pants to wear. Naively, I pulled on the first pair and was shocked to find they didn’t fit. Convinced it must be the winter shrinkage that happens to clothes stored in a box (this happens right?) and not ready to surrender to my new enlarged reality, I grabbed the final pair. This was the super stretchy black capris; my fat-day pants and I confidently stepped into them only to experience the same gasp (read sucking in) as I tried to do them up. I felt the sick hot flush of shame and disappointment wash over me. How did I let this happen?
Recently when I was in Florida, I watched a little boy leave the pool area. This young fellow held his head low, bottom lip quivering as he slouched off, walking very slowly back to the main building.
Without a word being said, you just knew he was not a happy camper. Likely his father had told him he couldn’t go in the pool. A totally different picture to the same kid the day before who had been frolicking around and having fun in the water.
Children are so expressive with their body language, and before they have developed a broad vocabulary, you can tell exactly how they are feeling.
Not like the grown ups. What happens to our ability to show and express our feelings? Because by the time we reach adulthood, we’ve been trained and conditioned to squash our negative feelings, especially as women.
Have a look and listen to the words of these young women, listen right to the end to hear one woman’s beautiful poem.
It’s only because they like me. I was in the right place at the right time. I just work harder than the others. I don’t deserve this. It’s just a matter of time before I am found out. Someone must have made a terrible mistake.